Would You Hack into Your Child's Facebook?

Welcome to Moms Talk, a weekly discussion onWoodstock-Towne Lake Patch that is part of a Patch-wide initiative to reach out to moms and families. Each week in Moms Talk Q&A, our local Moms Council of experts and been-there-done-that moms take your questions, give advice and share solutions.

Moms, dads and grandparents who make up our community, feel free to ask any questions you may have about parenting—whether it be about neighborhood schools, the best pediatricians, childcare or teen dating.

Moms Talk Q&A will also be the place to drop in for a talk about the latest parenting hot topic. Do you know of local moms raising their children in the Tiger Mother's way, and is it the best way? Where can we get information on local flu shot clinics for children? How do we talk to our children about the Tucson shootings?

If you've got a question, post it in the comments or e-mai lindsey.davidson@patch.com. Got an answer to a question you see posted on the site? Chime in and add a response to the comments section.

This week's question:

"In a Parenting blog, a New Jersey police chief encourages and teaches parents how to hack into their children's Facebook accounts. He shows parents how to download software that can monitor their children's every move. The blogger and the chief speak of the illusion of trust and being naive to think young high schoolers aren't being exposed to alcohol and drugs.
If you had the chance, would you hack into your child's Facebook account?"

Pamela Scott-Walden: I believe parental supervision is needed during any Internet activity of children. There are so many predators out there and many naive children. Having an open and honest dialogue with your child at an early age, and continuing that discussion as they grow will help to keep that door open. 

Sneaking around and hacking into your child's account creates a double standard for the child-parent relationship.  A child will view this as an invasion of privacy and may encourage them to lie to the parent. Rather, if the parent can keep everything out in the open from the beginning, you can "hopefully" avoid all of this.

We believe computers should be kept in a common room of the home, not in the children's bedrooms. Internet access should be closely monitored. If the child is mature enough (hard to put a number age to it because all children are different) help them create the Facebook page. Make it a joint effort, teach them what is appropriate and what is not. Explain to them during this process that in allowing them to have a Facebook comes with responsibility, and you will be regularly checking the page and will have open access to it. If you educate your child and give them the confidence to share with you, they will not have the fear of coming to you with all of the things going on in their lives.