How Hard Can it Be to Plan a 6-Year-Old Birthday Party?!

Bear with me, just a moment while I give you more details than you really want.  My son, Aidan, turned 6 earlier in May, and a week later, we still hadn’t had his party.  We couldn’t hold it the weekend of his birthday because of baseball and track commitments for both of my kids.  So, it was originally scheduled for the Sunday following his birthday.  Very late on the Thursday prior, we received word that our daughter’s track meet (an all day affair) was suddenly rescheduled to - as luck would have it - Sunday.  Marvelous.  To add to the chaos, Aidan’s baseball team’s end-of-season party had been merged with his birthday party - which now had to be changed.  So, I had to frantically get emails to all the coaches to find a time that worked for everyone; get approval from the HOA to move the party time and date (and that almost backfired because two other parties were already scheduled when we needed the pool area); I had to reschedule the lifeguards that I had to hire for the party; oh, and don’t forget I had to notify all the parents in hopes they’d get the message - all in less than 36 hours!  Anyone lost yet?  I know I am! 

Am I crazy for having all this stuff on our schedule?  When I was young, and I’m talking elementary school age, there weren’t nearly the opportunities that kids have today.  I played softball and basketball - that was it.  Softball was a summer league, and basketball was in the fall.  We didn’t have tennis, lacrosse, soccer, or swim team.  Some areas had football for younger kids, and there was usually a summer baseball league, but all the games were played within 10 miles of home.  Practices were once per week, after school, and games were on Saturdays.  Gymnastics was an exotic sport that we saw on the Olympics every 4 years.  I had one friend who took ballet.  Martial arts classes simply didn’t exist.  So, clearly, I was a very deprived child, and I’m guessing many of you were, as well - at least, by today’s standards.  I’ve only skimmed the surface of all the opportunities that kids have now.  Oh yeah, I forgot to mention the arts: drama class, voice lessons, art classes, and piano lessons (I did actually take piano as young kid).

As a photographer, I have had the privilege of shooting numbers of local sporting events, and I love this part of my work.  The athletes, parents, and coaches are always buzzing with an energy that is contagious - my thrill is to capture that energy in an image that tells a story.  Wow! 

However, there is a flip side.  Through the lens (and I can zoom in really close), I also see the tired eyes and slumping shoulders of the overwhelmed, both child and adult.  With all of these great opportunities has come a new challenge - how do we balance it all?  Before I had children, I thought I had parenting completely figured out (didn’t we all!), and I swore I’d never overbook my kids as I saw so many parents doing.  Well, folks, here I am eating some crow.  How did we get here?!  It’s very difficult to figure out how to set boundaries for our own families when the expectations are, for example, that 6 yr olds should have baseball practice two or three times a week in addition to games - and if the kids don’t attend, they really do get far behind.  Now, I’m not pointing the finger at anybody - our whole culture has come to expect this.  My husband, Randall, was an assistant coach this spring, for Aidan’s baseball team, and he was right out there with them at all those practices - I was in the bleachers when I wasn’t sitting at Abby’s three-days-per-week track practices.  When Abby was in 1st grade I did actually tell her coach (who was very understanding) that she couldn’t attend games that started at 7:45 pm - the time a child of that age should be going to bed! 

I only have two children, and my family feels like we never see each other.   Thank goodness my kids aren’t old enough yet to have mounds of homework (I’m not even willing to think about that, yet.  Ears plugged!  La, la, la, la - I can’t hear you!) Forget quality time.  Forget date night.  Husband?  I have a husband?  My DIY bathroom remodel may never get finished at this rate.  I have some good friends with three and four children in their family, and I honestly don’t know how they survive! 

So, I’m interested in hearing from you.  Are we doing the right thing?  All these activities that are meant to enrich our lives?  Do the pros outweigh the cons?  I honestly don’t know the answer to that.  How do you, my friends and peers, juggle all of this?  How do you find balance?  I’m all ears! (except about the homework!)

Respond here, or send me an email to: SayCheese@JodiCarlton.com.

Visit me online at:  www.JodiCarlton.com.